I've heard that the first impression is the most important one, and also the most accurate one. Your first impression of me would probably be that I'm shy,reserved,quiet,withdrawn and kind of just rather observe from a distance than interact. I must admit that I can agree with that to a certain extent. But once you really get to know me and talk to me, I can be quite forward,talkative and very opinionated. At first I try to keep my opinions to myself, to try to avoid misunderstandings on my part. But once asked to give my opinion, I'm very honest and will let you know exactly what I think and how I feel about certain things. I'm a very nice,friendly and peaceful person, so it can sometimes be hard for me to tell the truth, knowing that some people will consider me a mean person. At the same time as I have no problem at all being honest, and don't really give a flying fuck what people think of me. The only thing I ask, is for them to tell me why they don't like me or have something against me, cause they must have a reason for it. If only they would take their time to get to know me and talk to me, then they would see that I'm really a great person, and that I'm very easy to get along with. I think it might be a bit of an exaggeration saying I'm probably the nicest person you'll ever meet, but I'd really like to think that I am, or at least one of the nicest,most caring,loving,friendliest people you'll ever meet. I guess that's just the way I am...at least most of the time.
I've always believed that people do change, and that we all deserve a second chance. But then there's just those kind of people that never do change, no matter how many chances they're given. That's really too bad because given a second chance is rare these days, so therefore you should cherish it. We all make mistakes and sometimes it feels like those mistakes can't be fixed but, I believe that there's always a resolution to things, no matter how tough and out of reach they might seem at the time. We might not admit it but, we all lie every now and then, sometimes we might tell a lie so that we don't hurt the people we love. You might say that your best friends new haircut looks great when being asked but, in fact you really think it looks horrible, now that's what we call a white lie. It might seem cruel to some, that you won't tell the truth to your best friend, and you might think that you're not such a good friend after all but, we just don't want to hurt their feelings it's as simple as that. I though on the other hand, tend to tell as it is no matter the consequences, it might seem harsh but I just can't lie anymore. I used to be a great liar and could lie about all things possible but lately that's changed. I try and be as honest as I possibly can and try not to hurt peoples feelings by being too honest, because that is never and has never been my intention. But then again when I really think about it, there's no such thing as being too honest. In the end, when it all comes down to it though, we're all liars whether we like it or not. No matter how hard we try we'll never stop telling lies, who knows I might be lying right now when writing this, or am I the most honest person you've ever come across? Believe it or not but it's not too far from the truth or is it maybe? But then again...what really is the truth and do we really know? Can we really tell which is the truth and which is the lies? Like I said, when it really comes down to it all, we're ALL LIARS whether we like it or not.
I'm dreaming dreams and they're my dreams, not your dreams or anyone elses dreams just mine. Only I know what my dreams are about, only I could tell you about them if I wanted to. We all have dreams and no one can take them away from us, no matter how hard they try, because they're our dreams and we won't let anyone take them away from us. I won't tell you what my dreams are about but, I will tell you that I have dreams just like everyone else has. What would the world be without dreams you might ask, and I can't answer that question but, I know that I wouldn't want to live in a world without dreams. There's all kinds of dreams, there's the ones that takes you to a place where you'll always be safe, and where no one or nothing could ever harm you but, there's also those kind of dreams that you never ever want to dream again, I call them nightmares. I have a lot of dreams, most of them are good and takes me to that safe place where no one or nothing can harm me but, sometimes I have bad dreams that try to destroy me, those are the nightmares, but they can't destroy me because I won't let them. You might say that they're only dreams, and that it's a nice way to escape from reality for a while, but some dreams really do come true, and I hope that my dreams will come true as well someday.
I once believed that there was good in every person, and that I could trust people when they told me I could, but that was then. I know better now than to trust anyone ever again. We all make our own choices, and that's a choice I made with a little help, from those people that I used to trust that later betrayed my trust, and so I wanna thank them for making me more cautious and not take honesty for granted. The only person I still trust is myself, except for my family of course, that I know would never betray me or turn against me. We might not always agree on everything my family and I, but we always show respect for each others different opinions and beliefs no matter what. I believe trust is something you earn, but some people just don't deserve our trust in them. I wish that everyone would be honest and true, not only to others but also to themselves, because if they can't be honest with themselves and trust themselves, then how can they possibly expect others like you and I to trust them? I know I can trust myself, but can you trust yourself? and do you deserve for others to put their complete trust in you?
You can't break me, no matter how hard you'll ever try to, you can't break me, sure go right ahead and try to, but I'm telling you it ain't gonna work, so you might as well stop, because like I said, you can't break me. I often find myself wondering why and what I did to deserve getting broken, you can't break me. I won't let myself be broken because, I'm so much stronger than that but sure go ahead, you can slap me,rape me,hate me,torture me,make me bleed but still, you can't break me. You can never and will never be able to, so you might as well give up now when you still have the time, because all of this trying to break me for so long have gotten me very angry, and when I get angry I lose control over myself, and not even God knows what will happen then. So for the very last time, I'm telling you that no matter how hard you'll ever try to, you can't break me.
All she ever wanted was to be free, to be able to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. But they just kept holding her down, telling her she wouldn't get far without them and that she was weak and could never make it on her own in this world, but they were wrong. They tried for so long to control her, but deep down inside they probably knew they couldn't hold her down for much longer, and that she was gonna break free sooner or later. She wanted to be free just like the rest of us, after being locked away for what seemed like an eternity, she finally saw that beautiful ray of sunlight shining through and that's when she knew, it wouldn't be long until she would finally be free. To be free from those that had kept her away for so long, and that had told her that they were her only family, and that nobody cared enough about her to wonder where she were and if she was okay. They also told her they did what they thought was the best for her, and that they wanted to keep her safe from this world. For a long time she actually believed them, and thought that it was the only way to live, as she had been kept away for as long as she could remember. She knew it wouldn't be much longer until she would be free, she had thought of escaping many times before, but this time she wasn't gonna hesitate, this time she knew she had to escape if she was ever gonna be free again. It's now been several years since she finally succeeded to escape from those people, but still the memories of all those things they did to her and said to her will haunt her forever, and she will never be the same again after what she experienced for so long. But now she's finally free, she's finally free to do whatever she wants whenever she wants, and nobody but herself is in control of her. Yes, after all these years of being locked away, and those people telling her what to do and when to do it, she's finally free.
You keep saying that you like me just the way I am and that you wouldn't want me any other way, yet you're always trying so hard to change me, but I think you should know by now that, I'll never change. If I ever decided to change it would be for me and because I wanted to, but I happen to like myself just the way I am, and if you can't accept that then leave because, I'll never change. I don't care what you say or do, you can get down on your bare knees and beg me to change but like I said, I'll never change. Why can't you just accept me for who I am? and like me for being me and not trying to be someone I'm not? What you see isn't always what you get they say, well...with me what you see is what you get, so why would you want to go and change me? I told you right from the start that I'm just being me no matter what, and if you don't like it then fine just go but remember, I'll never change. Not for you or anyone else, so you might as well accept me for who I am because like I said, I'll never change. Of course I could change if I really wanted to, but why would I want to change when I like who I am,what I am,what I do,what I stand for...You wouldn't want me to try to change you to something you're not, just because there's something I don't like about you, and I wouldn't want to try to change you either. So why do you keep trying to change me all the time? I guess I'll never know but what I do know is that, I'll never change.
Whenever it gets rough and it feels like you don't belong in this world, I'll be there for you. Whenever it feels like you just can't go on and you're thinking of giving up, I'll be there for you. When it feel like the world and everyone around you has turned their back on you, I'll be there for you. You don't have to worry about being alone and not having a friend, I'll be there for you. I hope you know that no matter what happens and whatever they tell you, I'll be there for you. There's no need to ever be afraid again or think twice about anything because whenever you need me, I'll be there for you. Forever and always no matter what happens in this world, I'll be there for you. I'll be there to give you comfort and for you to have a shoulder to cry on and you'll never have to doubt in me, I'll be there for you. You can count on me to always be right there by your side and wipe those tears off your face, I'll be there for you.
You don't know me so you don't have right to judge me. It doesn't matter how I look,act,talk,walk,seem or whatever I do, it still doesn't give you the right to judge me, don't judge me. If you would actually take your time getting to know me and see me for who I really am, then you would know better than trying to judge me, don't judge me. A lot of people think they've got the right to judge you simply by your appearance, they just take one look at you and then think they've got the right to judge you, just because of your appearance, don't judge me. Maybe they should take a look at themselves for a second, and see that they're maybe not so perfect themselves, and then think about how they would feel if someone would judge them simply by their appearance, I bet they wouldn't appreciate that, don't judge me. I must admit that I used to judge people myself just like a lot of others do, but then I came to think about that I wouldn't want people to do the same with me, so I stopped judging people and was hoping that others would as well, don't judge me. It's never fun being judged, and I used to feel for a long time that I needed to prove myself to others and explain that I wasn't what they thought I was, but then I thought wait a minute...they're the ones that's got to explain themselves and why they think they had the right to judge me, when in fact they knew nothing about me, don't judge me. My advice to you is that you should think twice before you judge someone, because nothing really gives you the right to and I know you don't want others to judge you either so, don't judge me.
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lindacody's journal
